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[escapedestiny]

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[kickingand]

sam, think i finally met my stripper with a heart of gold

[escapedestiny]

Yeah? When's the wedding?

[kickingand]

i dunno, shes a little tied to the job

[escapedestiny]

if that's a bad joke hinting at what you're currently doing, I'm turning off my phone

[kickingand]

i could send pictures

[escapedestiny]

did you really get out your phone during this and tell a girl "hold on a sec I have to annoy my brother?" because I think you're bluffing

[kickingand]

oh shut up, maybe thats why shes got a heart of gold, making sure ive got time to spare for my little brother

[escapedestiny]

I'm flattered you're both taking the time to think of me.

this heart of gold stripper have a name?

[kickingand]

they all have names, sammy

[escapedestiny]

really. thanks for the info, Dean, 'cause I was under the impression they were all identified by a numbers system.

[kickingand]

or by cup size

[escapedestiny]

you're a terrible person. besides, wouldn't they all have pretty similar cup sizes? or does the stripper profession have more diversity than that? you're the expert here, not me

[kickingand]

there is always diversity if you look hard enough

[escapedestiny]

Meaning what, exactly? You go looking for rare and unique strippers?

[kickingand]

that one went over your head didnt it

[escapedestiny]

this whole conversation goes over my head. do you not have a diary you could tell this to?

[kickingand]

maybe if i was a chick, but instead im telling it to you so you can live vicariously through me. god knows you need to

[ but lets be real here, he's not even at a strip club right now. he's just in the parking lot of one. after hours. ]

[escapedestiny]

[In other words Sam was totally right about him bluffing.]

I really don't. Not everyone is as big of a horndog as you, Dean. Some of us do enjoy other past times.

[kickingand]

[ shhhHHHH. ]

and this is why i get the girls

[escapedestiny]

[never.]

I hope you give them good tips for putting up with you.

[The strippers, specifically. Not girls in general.]

[kickingand]

didnt know i was supposed to be handing out a manual

[escapedestiny]

[That's not what he meant by "tips" but he's not sure if Dean knows that and is trying to ignore it or if it genuinely went over his head.]

"tips for putting up with Dean Winchester" is a manual *I* could write

[kickingand]

[ You know what Sam, there are many meanings behind what you said, it's not his fault that he didn't gather all of them!! ]

yeah but if you wrote it, itd be sucky

[escapedestiny]

[Okay, look, they both missed one. Score's even.]

why? you don't think I'm good at handling you?

[kickingand]

[ Aw yeah. ]

no but im pretty sure youd throw a few 'run in the other direction's in there and id never forgive you

[escapedestiny]

maybe. but you'd forgive me anyway. if I can forgive you for making me bald, [At an age when he was already feeling like an unattractive freak, to boot.] you can forgive me for the occasional cockblock.

which I only ever do when we're in the middle of a case anyway. you need to be able to keep it in your pants for that long

[kickingand]

you ever heard of blowing off steam?

[escapedestiny]

I think you might have an overabundance of steam.

[kickingand]

you make that sound like its a bad thing

you got no idea what i can do with it and a little extra imagination

[escapedestiny]

You know what too much steam can cause, Dean? Burns.

[kickingand]

is that supposed to make me worried

some open tflns, have at.

[escapedestiny]

1. It looks like I murdered a Care Bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
2. Sorry for trying to exorcise you last night.
3. Just try to make good decisions. Remember the conversation we had about morals the other day?
4. I can feel you judging me through the phone.
5. Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
6. I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well."

TFLN overflow for infinite1ups

[escapedestiny]

[ continued from here. ]

Okay, probably not, no. If we're together and you're hungry, I promise I won't let you starve.

[Though that kind of begs the question if she can starve, but he doesn't really want to think about it.

To be completely truthful, she could probably just text him out of the blue saying she wanted to go to a restaurant and he'd do it. No blackmail necessary.]

Yes, thanks for moving it!

[infinite1ups]

I appreciate that. But fair warning, I get hungry a lot. Regeneration burns calories.

[ Starvation is a death Claire hasn't experienced, if it's even possible. She doesn't really intend to try, if she can help it. As much as she likes to test herself, she does have some limits. ]

Tho conceivably, I probably could survive without food... but why would I want to?! Food is great. And I just know I'd get so hangry. :p

[escapedestiny]

As hard as it may be on my wallet [lol funny joke, his name isn't on those cards anyway] it sounds like it would also be in MY best interest to feed you, blackmail or not

because, no offense Claire, but I'm not sure I'd want to see you hangry

[infinite1ups]

food is a very good way to get on my good side, just saying. I probably wouldn't be TOO awful when hangry tho. Like I'll probably just get snippy and maybe pout some?

But after some chicken nuggets I'm good as new!

TFLN overflow for sugarandwhiskey

[escapedestiny]

[ continued from here. ]

Huh, I don't know if I've dreamed about getting stuck places. If anything I tend to go through multiple locations in one dream, often they're pretty disjointed.

Don't worry, I promise if I see dream you getting picked up by a creep, I'll intervene.